


steady

by marvelinsanity



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Whump, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelinsanity/pseuds/marvelinsanity
Summary: even amidst the chaos of the war, obi-wan is always there to remind you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Kudos: 30





	steady

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever star wars fic that i published on my tumblr and i finally decided to put it here as well! thank you so much for reading <3 leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed hehe :3

The war was beginning to take a toll on you.

It was affecting everyone to an extent, of course. As you walked around the halls you were met with tired eyes and lowered, worn-out voices telling you that you weren’t the only one who felt completely drained. 

You threw yourself into your work—working extra hours with the Council and helping strategize battle plans, organizing committees, and having longer meditation sessions with Yoda. If sacrificing a good night’s sleep was what it took to keep all the intrusive thoughts at bay, then you were more than willing to take up on the offer. 

You did your best to keep your head held high but as time passed, it grew increasingly difficult. Hope seemed too far away on the horizon for you to reach out to it and actually believe it was in fact, going to get better. You were trying, but it got harder every day.

And Obi-Wan noticed. As a Jedi, you’d trained yourself to show no emotion whatsoever, or very little if you ever did—but being as observant as he was, he was quick to notice. It was all the little things that gave it away—the way you were constantly clearing your throat before speaking because it sounded hoarse and wobbly—as if you were on the verge of tears, the dark circles underneath your red-rimmed eyes, and how your hands always went up to fiddle with the moon-shaped charm he’d given you that hung from your neck.

You hadn’t eaten or slept in a solid six days. The dull migraine at the back of your head and sharp hunger pangs in your stomach told you to rest up and get proper nutrients into your body, but you ignored them. Maybe if you keep yourself on your feet, it’ll be easier to forget, you told yourself. 

But no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you were okay, the guilt still sat heavily upon your shoulders. 

You knew you could’ve stopped them; you had all the power to. But you didn’t. You couldn’t, and you failed.

It was only a few weeks into the war when you’d lost your old mentor, your friend, your parental figure whom you stayed close to long after you’d completed your Trials—and, being who you were, you took it upon yourself to put all the blame on your shoulders. Because technically, it was, was it not? You knew if you’d gotten there in time, if you were even just the tiniest bit faster and more observant and paid better attention, she would be alive. 

You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the bathroom’s mirror as you entered your quarters, and did a double-take. 

Gripping the edges of the sink, you stared back at the woman in the mirror. Her hair, normally plaited in elegant braids or pulled back into an updo, tumbled loosely and informally down her shoulders. Were those eye bags always there to begin with? Or had they recently appeared?

It was maybe half an hour or so later that you finally crawled into bed—without bothering to change. Fatigue was pressing down on your body rather heavily, but sleep never came.

...

You woke up screaming. 

There was no way in hell you were going back to sleep—not when the prospect of your premonitions coming true were still fresh in your mind. You weren’t going to lose him the way you lost your master—the thought alone was too much to bear.

Without thinking about what you were doing, you got out of bed and quietly made your way down the hall. 

Obi-Wan yawned as he opened the door and rubbed his eyes with one hand. “It’s 2 in the morning, what—Y/N, what are you doing awake?” He immediately paused when he saw the remnants of teartracks on your cheeks, falling silent as he placed a gentle hand on your back and ushered you inside. 

Without a word, you climbed into bed, and Obi-Wan didn’t say anything either as he pulled the sheets over you. 

You longed to be like him—to spend your nights not worrying about being plagued with terrifyingly realistic nightmares, to fall asleep almost at the very moment your head hit the pillow. The last time you remembered such a thing happening to you had been nearly a full year ago—but with the way time passed you by now, it felt like a lifetime. You wanted to ask Obi how in Force’s name did he sleep so well amongst an intergalactic war with seemingly no end to all its pain and suffering?

"What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled as you turned your face more towards the pillow. It smelled just like him—warm coffee and citrus—and for a moment, it seemed to calm you down.

He sighed, and carefully slid in between the sheets right next to you. “Why don’t you try and sleep, alright? You need rest.” 

"Mhmm.”

“Now get some rest, my love.” 

...

You woke up sweating bullets, chest rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. You initially panicked when you looked around and couldn’t see Obi-Wan, but your shoulders sagged in relief upon seeing he was still there, sleeping peacefully right next to you, his hand brushing against yours ever-so-gently.

He stirred in his sleep slightly as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. 

“Y/N?” he mumbled, still only half-conscious as he turned to face you, immediately sitting up as well as he saw you staring blankly ahead. “Y/N. Are you alright? You’re trembling.”

“I’m fine,” you replied, but the shakiness in your tone gave it away. “Obi-Wan, go back to sleep. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He took your hand in his, gently rubbing patterns into your palm. Force, the way his blue eyes shone brightly even in the dark...the way the seemed to stare straight into your soul... 

“I can’t sleep.”

Obi-Wan paused for a moment. He got up out of bed and motioned for you to do the same. 

“What are you...”

“Shh. Come with me, there’s something I want to show you.”

His warm hand slipped into yours again as he led you down the hallway and up a long, winding staircase, and kept holding on until you finally reached the top, pushing open the heavy doors together to reveal a sprawling, open balcony. 

“What is this place?” You were practically speechless as you stared up at the star-littered sky. 

“It’s one of the meditation balconies...I often come here when I find that I can’t fall back asleep. Stargazing is rather helpful in clearing the mind.”

“It’s beautiful,” you exhaled. “It’s so hard for me to find time to come even during the day...”

You sought solace in staring up at the skies. It was rare, being able to gaze upwards into a cloudless, clear abyss when you were so often surrounded by the atrocities of war. So you were grateful for any night in which you were able to see the stars.

“You seem tired,” he noted, gazing worriedly at your appearance. 

“Who isn’t at this point?” you exhaled, faking a laugh. “I’d be genuinely surprised to find someone around here who gets adequate rest.”

“Y/N, please tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m fine, Obi-Wan. I keep telling you there’s no need to worry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“What?” The sudden sternness in his tone took you by surprise. 

“You’re not okay, Y/N. You haven’t slept properly in a week, nor have you had any proper nourishment along with it. You almost passed out in the middle of sparring with Anakin, and Master Windu released you from yesterday morning’s meeting early because you were on the verge of knocking out cold. You don’t think I’ve noticed? I’m worried...if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how am I supposed to help?”

You bit your lip and anxiously fiddled with your thumbs. “I haven’t slept in six days. Seven...if you count when I fell asleep during that meeting.”

“A week? If you keep it up, you’re going to fall ill. You almost have.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

You shook your head. “I had a bad dream."

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” Obi looked more concerned rather than upset. “Y/N.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you. You have enough on your plate as it is,” you mumbled. 

“You’re not a burden. I’d much rather listen and help you than have you go through it alone.”

You let out a long sigh and crossed your arms over your chest, staring blankly out at the darkened horizon. It seemed that everything nowadays served as some sort of bad omen. “I’ve been having these dreams for months on end...but I don’t even know if that’s what you can call them anymore. And I can’t lose you. I can’t let any of this become real.”

“You won’t lose me, Y/N, you have my word.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dreams pass in time.”

Releasing a shaky breath, you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his broad shoulder, letting him slide his arms around your waist and gently kiss the top of your head. He lets his lips linger there; neither of you says anything about it. 

Obi-Wan found himself going down a risky path. He knew better than to grow attached. But now that he was made well aware of your fear over losing him, his equal fear towards having you taken away from him as well had become too prominent for him to keep brushing off to the side. If he couldn’t do so much as protect himself from imminent danger, he would do everything in his power to keep you safe under his wing for as long as he could. 

...

He glances down at your peacefully dozing figure for several moments. You looked so serene, so young, while you slept all curled up against him and wrapped up in the sheets. And right then and there, the thought of wondering how it’d be to wake up next to you every day for the rest of his life hits him like a truck. 

Brushing your hair away from your forehead, he places a hand to your face and skims his thumb across your cheekbone. He wants to stay like this, even if it’s only for a little while longer.

This isn’t right, he tells himself. But he can’t resist; there’s something about you that prevents him from doing so.

“You’re staring,” you mumbled, eyes still closed.

Obi blinked in surprise, slightly taken aback. “You’re awake.”

“...What time is it?”

“Half-past nine.”

“I’m going back to sleep,” you muttered, throwing the sheets over your face to cool yourself down. Despite your effort, you could still feel your face burning. “I haven’t rested in six days. Goodnight.”

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Alright. Sleep well, my love.”


End file.
